Idag kom ett mail från min chef. Vi ska ha ett sedvanligt uppföljningsmöte på måndag och han hade skrivit ner några punkter. Bland annat mål för vad jag bör klara av att göra under en vecka. Sorry bossen, det är inte mitt mål.
Det fick mig att fundera över vad som är mitt mål här i livet. Vad vill jag göra?
Jo, jag vill gå på julmarknad och se och känna på alla saker som finns där. Känna alla dofter och tindra med ögonen.
Sen vill jag åka till fjällen och bara glida nerför en grön backe och låtsas att den är röd och att det hela är jättelätt.
Sen vill jag dansa hela kvällen på något kul ställe med bra musik. Eller kanske prova på att dansa gammeldans igen. Riktigt fara fram i en hambo med en dansant kavaljer.
Sen vill jag åka till något varmt ställe och ligga och läsa en bok med paraplydrink i handen.
Sen vill jag någon kväll bli precis lagom berusad och göra en massa tokiga saker. Bli så där galet skrattig och oförutsägbar som jag kan bli när jag är onykter.
Eeeh, ungefär lika realistiska mål som chefens.
Det är dags att sluta önska sig det omöjliga. Ja, jag vet, det har jag hört förut och det är jag väl medveten om men längesedan-minnet är väldigt klart och tydligt.
Kanske ska man ändra inriktning och tänka att mitt mål i arbetslivet är att bli pensionär.
Jag använder ju min begränsade energi till att jobba tre timmar varje dag. Helt galet. Varför inte använda den tiden till att göra något annat. Inte vet jag vad det skulle vara, men PRO har ju ett ganska brett utbud så något kan jag väl hitta på. Och sen finns det en massa olika kurser på studieförbunden. Det finns språk-fik där jag kan få en godfika och prata svenska med människor. Säkert finns det en massa olika grupper med olika intressen som jag kan kontakta. Det finns ju faktiskt oändliga möjligheter att lägga sin energi på istället för på jobbet
Dags att ta hand om mitt liv! Det här livet som jag, och ingen annan har ansvar för. Jag kan, jag törs, jag ska. Imorgon.
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